Some Kind Of Monster

Last Night I stayed up very late watching "Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster". I honestly have no interest in this band musically. I have never really been into Heavy Metal Hair bands. Though when this came out in theaters I was always interested in seeing it because the movie/documentary takes the viewer into the inner workings of everyday band life. I enjoyed this film so much I quickly watched it again with the commentary from the band, which gave additional (not much) insight into what the band was feeling.

Metallica, starting to make their first studio album in about 3 years. You see everything in this film from the very benign setting up a studio and dealing with the record label. To the extremely personal and private of confronting each others ego's, not having a permanent bass player, daily temptations of damaging vises and the immense pressure of writing an album to support their family and band.

It was certainly surprising how intimate and open the band was with each other when the therapist Phil Towle was in the room. (On a side note they paid $40,000 a month to be at their constant beck and call over an almost 3 year period.) With all the camera's in their face it was very impressive that they could allow themselves to be that vulnerable in front of them. The band had such a disconnect with each other that they weren't even sure how to communicate with one and another. At times they weren't even sure if they wanted to stay together. Before James Hetfield (Vocals and guitar) went into rehab Lars Ulrich (drummer) and him were arguing with each other about a song. Guitarist Hammet saw the fight coming on. In his soft Buddhist way he begged for them to save the energy and use it for the music to just get the song done. Not listening Ulrich kept laying into Hetfield. Hammet in obvious frustration clapped his hand on his forehead, even that didn't make Ulrich stop. Hetfield got up and walked out of the room, leaving everyone sitting in an uncomfortable silence. Using the force of his whole body he slammed the door so hard that it almost broke the door off its hinges.

Two previous band members Dave Mustaine and Jason Newsted, one was fired in the eighties and the other quit because of the pain he apparently was putting himself through, were apart of this film as well. Dave Mustaine who started rival band Megadeath, agreed to a therapy session with Lars Ulrich. Mustaine freely admitted to his feelings of failure and always feeling like #2 to Metallica's #1. Wishing that James Hetfield was in the room, who was at a rehab facility at the time this meeting took place, Mustaine expressed how he would have liked to unloaded his feelings on him as well. Posing the question to Ulrich, "Do you know what it's been like for me?" Left Ulrich scrambling to give him an answer but he wasn't even listening to the question until Mustaine repeated it 3 times, which ultimately left Ulrich speechless.

Their were several clips of Jason Newsted "whining" about the good choice he made leaving the band and how he is better off now. Watching the commentary you hear Hetfield having absolutely no patients for this man. Newsted makes a comment about not understanding having children in the profession they have, but not saying it out right. Hetfield blurts out, "Living!?!" It makes you realize how self important Newsted feels about himself. Ulrich and Hammet make the effort to go see Newsted with his new band, Echobrain. After the show he doesn't give them the same courtesy of sticking around long enough to even talk to them even though he knew they were there.



Ulrich can be self indulgent with his feelings and pity for himself. At times his personality is as grading as his horrific wardrobe and hairstyles. The Napster lawsuit was annoying, it was annoying to watch it when it was relevant and even more annoying to watch the edited version in the film. Ulrich aptly asks himself on the album, "did I make a difference anyway?" I think we all know the answer to that one. Hetfield who goes through some life changing events during this period, one can see that he has changed the most. Not wanting to fall into old patterns he is able to recognize what triggers old habits of shutting down emotionally. Being able to see him healthy, very affectionate with his children and expressing his emotions freely (IE...at the end of making the album he says he's really sad, not depressed and is able to express why that is.) gives a sense of "happily ever after". Hammet has long been sober and has battled with his demons many years ago. His zen like quality brings a stillness to the band that is very much needed though it would have been nice if he spoke up a little more.

The band works best together after a healthy amount of therapy, rehab, finally finding a bass player and fighting together against a scripted radio station promo that their label is making them do. I loved watching these tough heavy metal men get to the core of their issues and deal with them in a very grown up manner. Filming their first video in a California prison Hetfield talks to the inmates. The honesty expressed caused him to be very emotional. Before they played saying, "Everyone is born with the same size soul. It's the choices you make that makes the difference. It's an honor to play in your house." To ending with "If it wasn't for music in my life I could very easily be in here or dead." Taking pause he collects himself, says thank you and leaves the stage. From Hetfield pointedly talking about his own anger for Cliff Burton leaving him and the band, the original bass player who died in a bus accident in Sweden; to Ulrich not being able to express himself in front of his Gandalf looking father; and to Hammet having to explain why Hetfield called him from rehab and no one else associated with the band. These men are complicated and interesting beyond anything I ever saw from their angry, warped and jaded videos on MTV. At times it was uncomfortable to watch but that's what made me want to watch. It was real. My only wish is that other bands get a therapist, put it to film and let me watch it.

On another note last night every single dream I had I was dreaming about Jame Hetfield. In the dreams I was able to tall him that I don't like his music but I loved watching this film. There is something very attractive about him.

The holidays are exhausting and are over next week. I'm glad that I get to see my friend Gutis - Devorah - bc she lives in Israel and we only see each other once a year.

I can't believe this weather!!! It's so disgusting. I hate the humidity.

I will have a week in review about all the new shows. Though my stupid VCR didn't tape some of the shows which is sooooo frustrating!!!! So I will watch some shows at work. ARGH!!!!

that's all for now.

Damien Rice at WAMU Theater in NYC

This is a song that the band made up on the spot with suggestions from the audience. "Happy Green Joe"

Ok, this is going to be a short blog. I am going to write a longer one after the Frames show tomorrow. I have to say that I love Shane Fitzsimons. Seeing him 3 times in a year and a half makes me feel really lucky. Let me just say that the Damien show was amazing. He was playing and singing with so much aggression. It was loud and in your face. It was the 2nd best Damien show I've been to. I couldn't have asked for anything better (unless Lisa was there). So there is a studio drummer touring with Damien right now. Who by the way is HOT!!! He is also an extraordinary drummer. Shane at points looked so impressed and he blew Honey and me away. Everyone was having a great time on stage. It was really nice to see. The drummer is Brendan Buckley and he toured with Shakira last year (which is funny bc I met her randomly). But he was AMAZING!! funnily enough he also looked like Honey's friend mike. He could have been his brother. And talking to him after the show I found out he's from Jersey!!

After there was the usual stalking... We met this kid Ian from Dublin. I really don't have time for details at the moment. But he told us (mind you he has no connection to the band. but he knows a lot about a lot and not in a "I know everything" type of a way. But in a way that I think he knows what he's talking about.) Anyway... he told us that Tomo (tom osander) is with Lisa Hannigan at the moment. Helping her out bc her album is planning on coming out sometime next year. (I cannot wait for that.) I couldn't believe it. Honey sent me an article and I read on Damien's boards that at some show (I don't think in America) Damien called Lisa and tomo from the stage. He had the audience say "we miss you". That's a really ballsy and not nice thing to do. I love Damien and I respect him. But it's really fucking difficult to defend him (even if it's just to myself) when he does shit like that. I just don't understand when he acts like that. On a good note he was looking all kinds of hot at the show. No longer homeless man.... just vintage chord man. He got a new haircut and I love his hair short like that. He wore a jacket and orange chords. But of course outside later, he looked slightly homeless bc of that stupid baha he has. Shane also looked all hot bc he was wearing a black suit jacket with jeans and some really great shoes!! HAWT!!! I love him.

After the show we were able to spend some time with shane and that made me really, really happy. I pretty much wouldn't bc I couldn't let go. I was able to ask him if we could stay with him when we eventually come to ireland he said no. but he did say we could come to dinner if it's ok with his lady. But we were like, she's gonna love us and we are going to love her!!! we won't even pay attention to you!! it was funny. Maybe he said yes bc he doesn't think we will get to ireland... little does he know... we will... I don't know when... but eventually. Honey was of course embarrassed that I asked... but I don't care. He remembered us from last time. The exact show and city we were in. He remembered that I gave him that picture which he said that he has at home. He remembered that whole story with Lisa and Gary (lightbody). Details that we didn't even tell him, details that LISA HANNIGAN told him!!! then he said that he told her that he saw us!!! It's crazy!! He's so good. He's amazing and he's really a good person. There was a lot of hugging and him letting me hug him. He talking about his parents and said some really sweet things. Things that made me love him more. I gave him (from me and honey) come cd's of a 3 live shows. The police from Bonnaroo, Sigur Ros from NY and their own show from 5/3/04 from beacon.

I was also able to talk to Damien for a minute privately, which really means that we were face to face an inch away from each other. There is no "private" outside the bus with other people. I wanted to tell him something very private about what his music means to me and I didn't want other people to hear me. There was only a few of us anyway. But I was able to tell him and I almost started to cry. Damien never took his eyes off me and I didn't either (i tried not to even blink). Putting his hand on my arm he rubbed lightly. It let me know that he understood what I was saying. I could see it in his eyes. When he looks at me I really feel that he sees me. I sense a connection that we share and I don't think i'm crazy when I say this. I really feel it. I see the way he looks at other people and I see the way he looks at me and it's different. He remembers me from that time in dc last year. (he may not remember my name. but he remembers the conversation). We hugged, very tightly, for a nice amount of time. Honey then reminded me about keane. so I told him that when we met keane they do the opposite of what he does and what we get from him is so much more. The time and the conversation lasts forever in your head. Things like that you never forget. The connection. But with a meaningless signature and a picture that has blankness it really feels like it's not worth it. (unless it's edge or dave or alex or muse) But the thing about shane is that he can do both. He can have the conversation and the picture bc there is something in the picture. It's not blank. But Honey and I wanted to let Damien know that he was right. what he gives to his fans is worth more then any picture he could take or any ticket that he could sign. So thank you to Damien for staying and talking and understanding. Thank you for playing an incredible show. Thank you to Shane for being amazingly sweet, kind and open.

The frames are tomorrow and I am really, really looking forward to that. It's Irish week and it makes me really happy.

I suppose this wasn't such a short blog. But what are you gonna do???

Porn + Harry Potter = A Great Day with Miriam

Last week I had vacation from work and I tried to relax most of the days. I did little things each day except for the last day. I was going to meet Miriam in the city. For her Birthday or maybe anniversary she got a gift card for TKTS. It was very nice of her to use half of it on me also. So she got there very early, even before I left the house and get tickets to "spring awakening". I had a miserable time parking. But we finally met up and went to lunch at her favorite dairy place called "cafe K". The soup was very good and I had a salad. Miriam had half my soup, a salad and a roll of sushi. We then walked to the theater and met someone from High School that was very unexpected. We also took a touristy picture at Rockefeller Plaza. Miriam didn't want to but I was like, what's the difference? We don't live IN the city!! So we took it. I don't know why you would get embarrassed. Who cares what other people think?!!? I don't! We finally made it to the theater and got to our seats. It's a pretty small theater and we were in the balcony. We talked a lot, which was really nice. So the show started and I was pleasantly surprised. What made it so good was the voices of the cast. If you plucked out each one of them and put them in a band they would do very well for themselves. So I've been telling the world that Miriam took me to porn!! At the end of the first act the main couple have simulated sex on stage. He took his pants off, so you could see his backside, but not his front side. Then he goes and shows off the girls breast... which was really gratuitous. There was thrusting and grunting.
I was freaking out, I grabbed Miriam's arm - who was watching intently - and saying "OH MY G-D you took me to porn" under my breath. End scene. People in the audience freaked out. some older people left. Open scene to Act 2: the main couple having sex again!!! finishing really. But come on people. there was no warning!!! Then there was a gay couple and they started to kiss and a lady 2 rows in front of me said OUT LOUD "Oh No!!" I almost lost I was laughing so hard. But I said to Miriam, if they have sex I will be mortified. But all in all it was a really good show. I found out that Hilary Duff went the day b4 so that's annoying.

After the show we walked through times square and who do I see Bianca from All My Children!!! she heard me say that and she was on the phone but she got off the phone and stopped to pretend to look at a store that she wasn't interested in and that gave me a way to walk over to her. So Miriam took our picture and she was really, really sweet. I mean she couldn't have been nicer. She is getting married so that's why she isn't on the show at the moment. but she said she has no intention of leaving. which is really good, bc I really like her. The Picture will be impending. I haven't gotten my film developed.

We ate an early dinner at Mr. Broadway and it was the best pastrami sandwich ever!! so yummy. We talked a lot. It was just really nice to spend the whole day with her. Eating, walking, talking, stalking. watching a show and a movie. Miriam and I don't get to spend a lot of time together and almost never get to in the city doing stuff. So it was really nice. Miriam didn't want to take the subway (beats me why not) so we walked 30 blocks to the Harry Potter Imax 3D theater. I wanted to get there early bc last time I went it was packed and I did NOT want to sit in the front.

We talked and looked at stuff all the way there and when we got there, there was no line, not one person waiting and no one on the food line or in the bathroom either. oops!! but we got the seats I wanted and both of us had blisters and that killed bc we had to walk back to the car. Meh. B4 the movie started I was asking all these personal questions that she actually answered. She's very frank with me and I always appreciate it. she doesn't sugar coat anything!!


I know that I've seen the movie twice in the theater, and I saw the 3d Experience already. I know that I watch it at work all the time also. But you know what... I cried. again. It's always at the same part too. Even before it happened, I said to myself, "I'm good. I won't cry. There's no need." and then water works!!! When Voldermort is torturing Harry and you see his parents and his friends with the music I lose it!! I love Harry Potter. I can't help it. (Honey notice the blue converse... I'm just saying.)

After the movie we walked back to the car and walked through Columbus circle and it was very romantic bc of the fountains and lights. Miriam said she would approve if I got engaged there. I was like, "I'll get right on that. jees." Both of us had blisters and hurting feet, but finally getting to the car and sitting was most appreciative. And that was the day. So even though she doesn't read my blog I thank her for a really, really great day.


I didn't sleep that well last night. I woke up like at 7am and really didn't fall back to sleep. I kept thinking about Big brother 8 and that is even more irritating. At least let me think about something that actually matters!!

B4 the weekend my brother and sister - n - law had food delivered to the house for a full shabbos meal. It really was so nice of him. I almost cried. It was so sweet of him to think of me and my grandmother. He's not religious so the fact that he did it means even more. I've been making meal plans for Rosh Hashanah which is coming up soon. I'm going to be doing a lot of walking which is good. I will also be spending some time with the Glazers who are moving to Israel soon and that's gonna be really, really sad. I mean I know that they have been wanting to make this move almost there whole lives, I just can't help to think about pretty much growing up in their house. Whatever... there's nothing I can do about it.


I've finished the very fine show "The Forsyte Saga." I can't say enough about Rupert Graves. It was a terrific Masterpiece theater. The amount of crying I did was shocking to me. Ya I cry at the Potter, but not British Masterpiece theater stuff. I was just really touched by the characters and the acting was really great. Damien Lewis was perfect as the controlling sycophant husband. Rupert graves had a perfect touch of softness mixed with authority. I just love everything about this mini series. I recommend it to everyone. It's really long bc there is a part 2: the later generation, but it's just as good and has all the same people. It really is quite good.


I can't believe that michelle Williams and Heath Ledger broke up!!! It's crazy. They seemed like a normal couple, really down to earth and all that jazz. They should try counseling or something. They have a kid together!! They should try and make it work.



I watched a very exciting tie breaking tennis match between James Blake and Tommy Haas. I really thought that Blake had it, but literally by a half an inch he did not. I really like watching Tennis.

I am really looking forward to the end of the week and next week. Honey is coming and we will be going to see Damien Rice... Really Shane for me. But I think it's funny that Honey and I both had a similar Damien dream the same night. and we didn't really talk about him the night before. it was very strange.


Then we are going to see the Frames and Cara will be there as well. I am really looking forward to that as well. I noticed that the small theater near me is Finally showing Once. Maybe I'll go and see it!! All the food that will be consumed is worth the excitement. I can't wait for brunch. that's what it's all about people. Eating with the people you love.







I've been reading The Buffy the vampire Slayer comic book. It's a continuation from the show and they are really good. It's a little different from anything else that I have ever read. I mean I read archie's but there is a on of narration and there isn't that much in Buffy. So you really have to read it several times to understand what's going on. But it's really good. If you liked the show I would highly recommend picking that up. I have only read the first 2 comics so far.


I've been awaiting my Entertainment Weekly issue for the TV schedule that will be starting soon. There's going to be a lot of new tv this year. I can't wait to see what's going to be good and what's not.

I went to Linen's N Things with Shira today and I hate that place. I prefer Bed, Bath and Beyond. I could (and have) spend hours in there. Rochi also came over with her poopy Jersey. It was nice to visit with both of them.

That's it for now. Until next time...